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TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIIIIIIFE
Wednesday. 1.7.15 8:34 pm

Random snippets of a phone conversation with one of my most trusted friends, who lives nowhere near me and is not midday, although they share a first name.


1.
"I'm like, 'I have good news and bad news. The good news is, you're going to live a long and happy life. The bad news is, you'll be living it without me.'"

Steve finds this line hilarious, and repeats it several times throughout our conversation. I didn't even realize what I was saying, at the time, so, once it occurs to me, we both sit there giggling like we're six about the most terrible way to break things off with someone. "I'm gonna use that, for real," he tells me. I hope he doesn't, but I also kind of hope he does, because the phone call I'll get directly after the fact might be worth it.

"The octopuses invade, and they're like, 'I have bad news, and I have good news... Bad news, you're not going to live much longer. Good news is, you're going to live it with me...!'"

It gets to the point of total absurdity at an extreme pace. This is when it benefits to live 15 hours away.



2.
We're talking about me mounting a yacht on the side of a mountain as a mountain home, and how it's especially absurd because no one would know how it got there or why--how it would be a total mystery to anyone who visits the mountain, why there is a yacht on the mountain.

"In typical [Unicornasaurus] fashion, you ask, 'Why aren't there more yachts on the mountain?'"

This is probably the biggest compliment anyone has ever accidentally given me, because I would love to be seen as that belligerently combative about valid questions.

"That sounds like a line from a Wes Anderson film," I tell him, trying to stop laughing because he's stopped laughing, and continuing to prolong the laughter can sometimes be weird.

We discuss befriending Wes Anderson and bringing him to visit my mountain yacht house.

The idea of the yacht, of course, originated from my frustration with people who read "inspirational" books on success and still do nothing to actually achieve success, and how I was going to take their great ideas and make a bunch of money off of them. "And when I buy my first yacht, you aren't invited," I say, referencing the people I'm making a bunch of money off of, in this scenario.

Anyway, I would probably still invite them.

I'd have good news and bad news; the good news is, they'd still live long and happy lives. The bad news is, they'd be living them WITHOUT DIS YACHT.

FULL CIRCLE, ALL RIGHT
1 Comments.


I hope I'm invited to your success yacht.
» randomjunk on 2015-01-10 09:48:33

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