Kurt Vonnegut's writing always cheers me up.

I finally got around to some Rand, last week. At times...I felt impatient towards her writing, because she tended to embellish where it wasn't exactly necessary. But then, she wrote the novel quite well. I read the whole of it at about the same rate as I did Les Misérables. And THAT was an excellent, compelling read.

It was The Fountainhead, FYI.

But...Vonnegut has my heart. When he died, a few years ago, I was sincerely upset about it.

Maybe his writing is a bit simple to read, but he's the most straightforward author I've ever read. The use of imagination...you can't underestimate how important it is. They tell aspiring writers to write what they know, but...

You shouldn't JUST write what you know. He does focus on war (he was in my grandpa's company), but he adds his own mind to it. I can hardly tell I'm reading about war, half the time.

And hey, maybe I'm not.


Life has been moving slowly. I think the big problem is that I haven't been joining clubs, sports, et cetera, because I'm not settled into my college. Rather, I'm waiting to be settled into MY college.

Not the one I'm attending.

It's odd, how you can have ownership over different things in different ways.


ANYWAY.

I don't want to get into clubs and end up like some people I know who didn't transfer in time. I know some kids who ended up drinking themselves happy because they loved the people, but couldn't stand the actual school. I'm not into alcohol, but regardless. Misery has never been my thing.

I have an idea where I want to be, but we won't go into that right now. The real point is that the place I want to be still isn't where I am, and that's partially because I was a follower to the point where I listened to my mother and let her discourage me and dump all over what I wanted.

That's another tangent I could go into. Long story short, she pushed me to take the full ride to a college with very little funds supporting my major, just because it was a full ride. Then, when I left (realizing that I was extremely unhappy and not in control of my own life), she got on me about wasting "free money" (she still rubs my nose in that). Free money that I earned. She told me that applying anywhere else would be a waste of money, and pushed me to only apply to the closest schools.

Like an idiot, I listened. Despite the fact that I'm paying for my own schooling and that she has nothing to do with any of this. Despite the fact that I certainly know where I want to be.

So now, I've applied somewhere. Secretly. About three people know to where.

Having to make choices behind my mother's back: not fun.

Having the freedom to apply to the school I want to attend without getting a bunch of nonsense about it: worth it.


Also, I've felt oddly blah, conversationally, lately. I don't know what that is. It's time to gain some more experiences!


SO. HOW ARE YOU?

Your feelings about college seem pretty similar to mine, although I don't know where I want to go now...
» randomjunk on 2011-03-03 01:07:01

Do you think your mom will be more supportive once she sees you're happier at a school of your choice?
» Amelie on 2011-03-03 12:32:13

my dad told me that i had to go to a certain school or he'd kick me out of the house. so i went to the one he wanted me to. but i did terrible. and left the school. and he kicked me out. i've felt the pain of the parental leash. you should apply where you want.
» thaitanic on 2011-03-03 08:40:30

Thank you :)
Yeah, nobody in my family ever actually means what they say so you kinda have to figure out what they are really doing/meaning. I think I'm probably trying to read to much into what he does because of that. He's told me before that he's simple and doesn't do subtlety.
» hiddenagenda on 2011-03-04 02:45:23

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