There's a lot on my mind. I'm mostly just angry about Kierra not being able to come on my sleepover mountain trip, next weekend. What adds on to my bummed-out mood is that I'll miss the opening night for The Dark Knight. Damn!

That's not really all that's bumming me out, though. -sigh- My mum has a problem with alcohol, and I'm sixteen and haven't touched the stuff. So I'm kinda pissed, just because I have problems, too. And she uses hers as scapegoats.

Since when do you have a harder life than anyone else? You're depressed? Join the fucking club. You eat full meals, every day. You have a working toilet, and plenty of money...

So where does she get off telling me I " shouldn't worry so much?"

I finally just gave up and confronted her, the other night. Again. I didn't want to, but I cried really hard, and it's just...hard.

But at least I'm not escaping back into any shell. It's happening. I'm used to it. Whatever. Life goes on.

And this kind of ties into what Neb and I were talking about, the other night. We came to the agreement that we're going to let go early in life, and understand that nothing is really worth worrying over. Death? Death isn't scary, as long as you believe you're going somewhere good or nowhere at all, when you die. Painful deaths are usually quick (though not always), and you come to terms with a slow death, in most cases. It's nothing to fear. The future? It'll happen. Prepare, don't worry. Worrying ruins people. It ruins relationships.

It ruins the fun there should be in life.

Too much time is spent hiding things.

I've kinda lost the drive to rant, now.

But I'm still not tired.

Bleh. ^.^

You're right
Again, I'm sorry about your mom.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I'm sure its worse in your case since you live with your mom every day and she seems to drink quite a bit more than my dad.

And, I also apologize that you have to keep telling me and reminding me about you and Britney. I really have invested too much time in him, and too little in my friends. And I know that's just saying something and not taking action, but...yeah.

And...I don't wanna be a phsyco crazy lady though...-sigh- Ohwells.

I'll try talking to him next time I see him whenever that is.

-back to blog- And you're also right about the not worrying part. Life is too short to worry, and all we can really do to prevent ourselves from worrying IS to prepare. After that you can't really do much except sit back and see what happens.

Sorry, mine was a long comment, too.
» Steigenator on 2008-07-12 10:02:18

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